Bloor's Talent Show
by ellajaytorsson
Summary: Bloor's Talent Show is a good story for a bit of a laugh. Features a weirdo teacher and a special guest judge. Rated for language and possible violence in future chapters. Chapter three coming soon. WARNING: It will suck!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hi, this is my first story on Fan fiction, so I hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I own no-one. Simon Cowell owns Simon Cowell and Jenny Nimmo owns everyone else. Oh wait, I own Jess Fergton. Yay!

"Hello and welcome to the first episode of Bloor's Talent Show. I'm your host Jess Fergton and these are your judges Simon Cowell, Dr Harold Bloor and last but not least the very beautiful and very talented, Miss Crystal. Now that we've met the judges let's meet our first contestant. She comes here all the way from the art room. With "I Am" by Killing Heidi, take it away, Dorcas Loom." Dorcas walked onstage and everyone, with the exception of her brothers and Joshua Tiplin, booed loudly. She took a deep breath and started to sing.

"I know, I know, I know, I know what you'd say  
I know, I know, I know, I…"

"Stop, stop, stop! I know, I know, I know, I know what I'd say. Get off the stage!" Simon shouted.

"I hate teenagers!" Dr Bloor yelled.

"Very nice, very nice," said Miss Crystal.

"Well folks the judges have spoken, Dorcas I'm sorry, but this is not your day. Now, if you could just stand right there, no a little to the left. Perfect. Goodbye." Jess pressed a big red button and Dorcas fell down a strategically placed trapdoor in the middle of the stage.

"Now that that's over, let's hand it over to our next contestant, Olivia Vertigo, singing "Material Girls" by Madonna. Go Olivia!"

The hall erupted in cheering so loud that Olivia's eardrums nearly burst.

"Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me, I think they're ok

If they don't give me proper credit, I'll just walk away

Some boys slow dance, some boys romance, I think they're all right

But the boy with the cold, hard cash is always Mr. Right

'Cause we are living in a material world, and I am a material girl

You know that we are living in a material world and I am a material girl"

"Whooo! You go girl," Miss Crystal said jumping out of her chair and dancing with approval.

"You may be living in a material world, but with that voice, I think you're from heaven," Simon commented.

"I hate teenagers!" Dr Bloor yelled.

"O.K. I think that guy is really creepy. Well done Olivia that was awesome. You are definitely in. Next up we have" Jess was cut off by a loud crazy person jumping up on the stage.

"Me!" yelled the crazy person. It was none other than Dr Bloor.

"They're gonna clean up your looks with all the lies in the books

To make a citizen out of you

Because they sleep with a gun and keep an eye on you, son

So they can watch all the things you do

Because the drugs never work they're gonna give you a smirk

'Cause they got method of keeping you clean

They're gonna rip up your heads your aspirations to shreds

Another caught in the murder machine

Teenagers scare the living shit out of me

They could care less as long as someone'll bleed

So darken your clothes or strike a violent pose

Maybe they'll leave you alone but not me.

I HATE TEENAGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!" With that, Dr Bloor ran off the stage screaming.

"I stand by my afore said statement, this guy really creeps me out. Sorry folks that's all we have time for today, but be back next time for more "Bloor's Talent Show."

A/N: Thanks for reading my story. Please review. If you do, I'll buy you some bubblegum (sorry, not really, but I will add more chapters).


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Sorry Gabriel, I just had to have Tancred in this chapter but this one should have more people. Feel free to request songs or people because I need some inspiration. And don't be mad if I don't reply straight away, I only have internet access three days a week.

Disclaimer: Simon Cowell owns Simon Cowell, I own Jess Fergton, Carissa owns Carissa and Jenny Nimmo owns everyone else. I know this is only my second chapter, but do I really have to write this every time.

"Hello, I'm your host Jess Fergton and welcome to this weeks installment of Bloor's Talent Show." (audience claps) "After last weeks, hmm, interesting performance by Dr Bloor, we are now one judge short, so everybody let me introduce you to Carissa!" (someone stupid stats a mexican wave and audience screams and claps loudly)

"Thank you, thank you," Carissa walked on stage and curtsied all the way to her seat blowing kisses at all the pretty people.

A/N: no offence to the not pretty people it Carissa's fault not mine 

"OK, our first singer today is the gorgeous, the beautiful, the talented, Tancred Torsson. Take it away, mate."

"Um, hi," Tancred started, his blue eyes searching through the audience, "I'm gonna be singing Stolen, by The Dashboard Confessionals, and I dedicate it to my special friend, Emma Tolly."

ahhh, so sweet

We watch the season pull up its own stakes  
And catch the last weekend of the last week  
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced,  
Another sun soaked season fades away

You have stolen my heart

Invitation only, grand farewells  
Crash the best one, of the best ones  
Clear liquor and cloudy eyed, too early to say goodnight

You have stolen my heart

And from the ballroom floor we are in celebration  
One good stretch before our hibernation  
Our dreams assured and we all, will sleep well

Sleep well

You have stolen  
You have stolen my heart

I watch you spin around in your highest heels  
You are the best one, of the best ones  
We all look like we feel

You have stolen my  
You have stolen my heart

audience cheers

"Well, personally, I think that was sweet but let's hand it over to our judges at the bench."

"Well Tancred, you can sing, but just, but I have to give you brownie points for the fluffy mush. Overall, you did pretty well," Simon commented.

"I don't like fluff or The Dashboard Confessionals and you suck at singing, so go away and get a life, and a singing tutor!" Carissa said harshly.

"Come on Rissa," Miss Crystal said, "Be nice, if I were in charge he'd be in so fast that you couldn't even say, Polly put the kettle on, kettle on, kettle on, Polly put the kettle on, we'll all have tea."

Jess walked to the front of the stage and turned to face Tancred. "Some interesting comments there, but overall I think they like you. Hope to see you next week. Do you have anything to say before you go?"

"I love you Emma!" he shouted, as he walked off the stage with a broad grin stretched across his face.

"Next up, we have a pair of newly reunited lovebirds, Mrs. Amy, and Mr. Lyell Bone! To carry on the fluff tradition, they will be singing, Something Stupid, originally by Frank and Nancy Sinatra, so take it away The Bone family."

I know I stand in line  
Until you think you have the time  
To spend an evening with me  
And if we go someplace to dance  
I know that there's a chance  
You won't be leaving with me

Then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place  
And have a drink or two  
And then I go and spoil it all  
By saying something stupid  
Like I love you

I can see it in your eyes  
You still despise the same old lines  
You heard the night before  
And though it's just a line to you  
For me it's true  
And never seemed so right before

I practice every day to find some clever  
lines to say  
To make the meaning come true  
But then I think I'll wait until the evening  
gets late  
And I'm alone with you

The time is right  
Your perfume fills my head  
The stars get red  
And oh the night's so blue  
And then I go and spoil it all  
By saying something stupid  
Like I love you  
I love you... 

(ahhh, youngcough, cough love)

"I'm speechless, I'm truly speechless. That was breathtaking," Jess gushed.

Carissa scowled, "Get over the fluff already, I really truly hate it. And you sing bad too. Hmph!"

"OK," Simon started, "I think I may have been drugged or replaced with someone completely opposite to me because that was nice. Do you think that I'm being too nice? Do you? Huh? Huh?"

Miss Crystal glared at him, "Who are you and what have you done with Simon? You must be a fake so I'm going to call you Mimee. I know, I know a bit random, but hey, I can say whatever I want, I'm one of the bad guys. Um, sorry you guys, but you really sucked. Nice song choice though."

"Hey!" a voice called out from the audience, "How dare you say my parents sucked. If you say anything else mean I'll get my Uncle Paton in here and then you won't be able to see. So there!" Charlie ran to the front of the room and blew a big, wet raspberry, right in Miss Crystal's face.

"Hi Charlie," Jess said cautiously, "Please don't hurt me, but I think they kinda sucked too."

A bright red tomato came hurling toward Jess's head, soon followed by a huge pile of rotten vegetables and she ran off the stage crying.

Emma Tolly jumped up on stage and grabbed the microphone. "And so lady ladies and gentlemen, that concludes this weeks episode of Bloor's Talent Show. Come back next week for more amazing songs and performers. This is Emma Tolly, out."

As the lights started to dim, Tancred Torsson ran onstage. "I love you, Emma!"

A/N: Sorry, Gabriel Silk, I know I promised Asa, Ben or Gabriel, but I ran out of songs and judges comments. Please, everybody, review. I need inspiration, and sleep. Goodbye!


End file.
